It’s surreal to think that I have hit that one year mark ( and a few days ) of my marriage. I still get
reminded of the feeling whenever I witness someone else getting solemnized or having their wedding.
I kind of miss the feeling but I definitely do not miss the preparation!
One year on and I am still trying to fit into my role as a wife. I had to change my attitude and behaviour but for the better of course. I am thankful for my otter half who would highlight areas I need to improve on with patience and gentleness. For the most part, he is very tolerating of me.
It was not always an easy ride but not to say it was the worst. I’ve received comments from ex-colleagues and friends who will say “oh you are still in your honeymoon year” or “wait till you have kids!”.
I du’a that when the going gets tough, we will still continue to love each other as if it was our honeymoon year and commit ourselves to this union till jannah, in sya Allah.
Death waits for no one. It catches us at unexpected timing.
It has been close to a month since. The look on your face as they laid you in the middle of the room is still etched in my mind. As if you are having the best sleep after a long time. The coldness of your forehead when I kissed you for the last time still lingers on my lips. As they lowered you into your resting place, it hits me.
Am I ready to meet You, Ya Allah?
My grandfather’s passing was a reminder for me. Our lives in this world are finite. One day, that will be me. I will be alone, accompanied by the deeds I have done. Have I done enough to gain His mercy? Enough to earn my place in Jannah? Last Friday at class, we learn about Surah Al-Fajr. It talks about Hari Kiamat and the events that will take place. I was overcome with feelings of fear and guilt. Too many sins, not enough deeds.
In my resolution, I mentioned how I wanted to bring myself closer to Him. One of it is to realign my life’s purpose. Of course it won’t be easy. There will be good days and bad days.
I find myself looking into your room when I go to Cik’s as though expecting to see you there, but you’re not. In sya Allah, we will meet again.
So a few weeks back I had the opportunity to attend a Kimono Outerwear making class. I was really nervous the day before and told my husband about it (almost wanted to cancel out). Even though sewing scares me, a part of me still want to create things through sewing.
If you see the outerwear I made above, you think it looks nice. But if you look closely, you see some random thread still haven’t cut off, the length of the front is actually one side shorter than the other and the sewing inside…hmm jangan cakap lah eh. Berterabur! At the end of the day however, I’m still proud of what I’ve done and proud that I ignored my fear and went through with the class. I would not have created this if I gave in to my fear.
I have plans at the back of my mind to utilise what I have learnt. In sya Allah if all goes well, I would love to be able to share it with others.
If anyone is interested, I attended the class at Astitchworks located just across Joo Chiat Complex. I would encourage you to go for it if you’re keen because they have a small class size and the trainers are helpful and patient! I attended a sewing class at the CC once and didn’t find it helpful. There were too many students to 1 teacher and the sewing machines provided was not enough compared to the number of students who attended. They are currently trying to get recognition so that future students can use their Skillshare credits to pay for the course.
So finally! The start of my LONG overdue reviews of my wedding vendors.
*I initially wanted to cover all the vendors in this post but after typing my review for bridal alone (and digressing a lot), I will have to slot another post for the other reviews another time.
Continue reading #23: Am I on a roll? Yes, I am!